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Despair.
It’s really so easy for you to say it, and I’m not surprised because you’re not the one getting hurt at all. The worst thing is, you’ve never considered how I felt after the whole incident because you did everything for your own benefit, out of your own interests and that was and is the only thing you’ve ever cared about. “I think let’s just forget it, it’s the best option for me” The truth is do you really understand what I’m going through? Obviously not, maybe you would if you experience it yourself next time. Not like you would even bother, but do I really mean anything to you at this point of time? Or I’m just like a leech that you’re trying to get rid off so that you can carry on living your carefree life, having fun talking to some other new guy that you like, like what you did to me last time. Or i’m just something that you can’t wait to see disappear so that you can remove that guilt that’s been hounding you. It’s just this feeling of injustice that’s been haunting me that after so much I’ve done, you just treated it as if it was a waste of your time, a mistake, a burden that you could not wait to lift.
Still don’t understand how I feel? Imagine seeing your loved one getting killed and watching the culprit walk away scot-free. That’s how I’m feeling, injustice. I feel like I’ve been stepped upon, spat at, left alone to suffer for something I not only not deserve but also poured my heart out for.
You shoved me away like a piece of thrash, I’ll accept that. And now you expect me to just get over it like it’s such an easy thing to do, what am I supposed to say? :( It’s like I’m already trying my best to climb out of a valley that you’ve thrown me into and now you’re just pushing me back in. The truth is you really want me to get over it not for my sake but for yours. Because you just want to forget everything like it had never happened before so you can stop feeling guilty about it.
Then when you needed my attention you treated me as if I was the only one you ever cared about. And now when you’ve had enough of me you just throw me aside like you’ve never known me before. Harsh it may sound but that’s the truth, you liked me, you had me and when you’ve had enough of me you just couldn’t wait to shove me aside and move on. I know you’ll never look at this because I’m nothing but a stranger to you now and probably the last person you would want to have anything to do with but I hope that before you ask me to get over it again like it’s the easiest thing to do on Earth, please if you even have a heart, spare a thought for me? So what if you say sorry? Both you and I know very well that the “Sorry” is only to make yourself feel less guilty, so what for apologise when it doesnt help the situation at all?
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Where can I hide where your love cannot reach me
As much as I try to convince myself that it’s pointless to hold on, that it’s not worth it loving someone hard to love, that you’ve already gotten over me, that I’m alright, that I’m………over you. I know i’m not.
Because part of me still yearns that things would go back to where we were before, part of me still wishes that we can have back what we used to have, part of me still tries to believe that you care.
But I know these are just fragments of my foolish imaginations, because I know it’s simply…..impossible, because it really is about what’s lost and cannot be found, because I’m sure you’ve already moved on, doing well without me.
Nowhere else to go but forward.
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Likes
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in un istante solo (by agnescecile)
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Photo Courtesy: aisahandig
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Photo Courtesy: khadx097
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Photo Courtesy: faedoodles
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